Time Quote by Jim Gaffigan Download Open image ““Other times, we dads are presented as the “enforcer” Vice President, the Dick Cheney.”” — Jim Gaffigan ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.1 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Time Vice president
“As a dad, you are Vice President. You are part of the Executive Branch of the family, but you are the partner with the… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Mum once told Dad that vices are only vices when looked at through the frame of society. — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
“Dad!” I said, trying to get his attention. “It is so official you are a bad father. Good fathers do not shoot their daughters!”… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Complacency delivered us into the hands of evil greedy men like Cheney.” — Sonia Rumzi Copy Share Image
“Dad always said, “Never embarrass the man who signs your paycheck.” — McMillian Moody Copy Share Image
“Enhanced Interrogation is Dick Cheney changing a word, Dick Cheney comes up with a new word to cover his ass!” — Jesse Ventura Copy Share Image
A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“Real Fathers are men of integrity & honour. Their word is their bond.” — Fela Durotoye Copy Share Image
We are more speedily and fatally corrupted by domestic examples of vice, and particularly when they are impressed on our minds as from authority. — Horace Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
These joys were so trifling as to be as imperceptible as grains of gold among the sand, and in moments of depression she saw… — Leo Tolstoy Copy Share Image
“William didn't look like he'd be difficult about anything - he was thin and sandy-haired and already wore eyeglasses like his father. Most of… — Patricia C. Wrede Copy Share Image
Intel has a very complete process that I go through any time I want to sell that ensures I have no insider information. — Brian Krzanich Copy Share Image
I feel like the future is unwritten. So many of the things that we write now haven't been about educating people on the environment,… — John Flansburgh Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you do things they're absolutely right at that time for you and it can always teach you something about yourself. You can take… — Kym Marsh Copy Share Image
Resist discouragement by speaking His Word over your future. Keep standing. Keep hoping; keep believing because He is working behind the scenes. He's going… — Joel Osteen Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for every time I couldn’t sleep, I could buy a billion locks and finally read a book in peace. — Aesop Rock Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The future is only an indifferent void no one cares about, but the past is filled with life, and its countenance is irritating, repellent,… — Milan Kundera Copy Share Image
