Humor Quote by Fanny Merkin

“I spend the rest of the night doing schoolwork. After striking a match and lighting a candal, I sit down at my desk with my quill pen and parchment to write an essay for my ethics class on the legalities of fan fiction.” quote by Fanny Merkin — Download Open image

““I spend the rest of the night doing schoolwork. After striking a match and lighting a candal, I sit down at my desk with my quill pen and parchment to write an essay for my ethics class on the legalities of fan fiction.””

Fanny Merkin

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Humor

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“HOLY MOTHER EFFING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS HE HOT”

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“I'd do you." "I think you did once" I say. "Oh yeah.”

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“I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks’ coffee tastes like burnt ass,” I say. “Actually, it tastes nothing like burnt ass, Anna.” “And how would…

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“Mr. Long Fingers. Mr. Womb-Ticklers”

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“My god, Anna,” he says. “I almost lost you.” He has me in his powerful grip. I’ve never felt this safe before. “Never let go,” I say, looking into his beautiful gray eyes. “That could be problematic,” he says. “I’ll have to let you go at some point. What if I have to pee? What if you have to pee?”…

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“I stare at her blankly. We don't have elevators in Portland. "This is my first elevator ride. How do they work exactly?”

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“Soon, we are as naked as the day we were born. Except, y'know, were not covered in blood and attached to our mothers by…

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“I feel naked in my Tommy hoodie and Victoria's Secret sweatpants with PINK written across the ass. The sweatpants aren't pink though - they're…

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“Are you ready for my love gun?” he says. Uh-oh. “What’s a love gun? Is that a sex toy?” “No,” he says. “I’m talking…

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“Walmart suddenly smells like a prosti-tot pageant.”

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“An attractive blonde behind the receptionist's desk smiles at me as I walk in. I assume she’s the receptionist, because I can’t think of…

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“Here’s the aisle with tape.” “Thank you, Miss Steal,” he says. He picks up the most expensive brand, which runs $3.99 a roll. This…

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Explore all 18 Fanny Merkin quotes

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'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

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When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

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“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly. Bane rolled his eyes and stage whispered: 'She asked why I cared so much about getting her dirty, teary face all my new shirt earlier, and asked where I got it from anyway. I said: 'Guess',…

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“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

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“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

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In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

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“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once, for example, when I was just starting out in the food business, I was hired by the caper people to develop a lot of recipes using capers, and it was weeks of tossing capers into just…

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