Crazy Quote by Emo Philips

“She was undergoing daily radiation treatments, which were physically draining and made her forgetful. “In any version of picturing this moment—that fantasy of what…

— Sheryl Sandberg

When I first met my girlfriend, Mercy Malick, she asked me if there was anything I should tell her that could put her off…

— Joseph Gatt

Sicker than if she gave me AIDS, plus some teeth decay. Then she stole my condom, try to auction it on eBay.

— Mac Miller

I told her I wanted a plastic surgeon to sew me up, and I wanted her to freeze my ovaries, so I could harvest…

— Fran Drescher

I was gonna open a gym and was in negotiation to buy the gym I was working out at. It was a small mom-and-pop…

— Drew Waters

She got everything that I have to live without.

— Anonymous

I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some…

— Jack Benny

I had to drink radioactive water.

— Wally Funk

I had to have 25 counts of radiation, and the radiation was an obstacle I had to get over, in and of itself. It…

— Daniel Jacobs

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of…

— Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I was diagnosed with Graves' disease, an illness of the thyroid gland. Instead of surgery, I was given radiation treatment.

— Gail Devers