Fall Quote by Craig Ferguson

“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.”

— Craig Ferguson

Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else.

— Craig Ferguson

Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit…

— Craig Ferguson

Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

— Craig Ferguson

People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay…

— Craig Ferguson

Whoever I had become had to die.

— Craig Ferguson

My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.

— Craig Ferguson

People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.

— Craig Ferguson

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

— Craig Ferguson

I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.

— Craig Ferguson

For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you…

— Craig Ferguson

114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.

— Craig Ferguson