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Stupid Quotes by Jack Handey
- If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think…
- The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some…
- I'd rather be rich than stupid.
- I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No,…
- At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays.…
- I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk…
- If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking…
More Stupid Quotes
- If journalists ask you again and again about the same bands, you'll end up saying you hate them just because you're so… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- When I was a kid, among the other embarrassing things I would do, and there's a list of stupid things, but I… — J. J. Abrams
- One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised. — Chinua Achebe
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. — Jane Austen
- You have to protect it too, you can't let just any stupid person take it and do something demoralizing with it. At… — Paul Auster
- I think a lot of times we don't pay enough attention to people with a positive attitude because we assume they are… — Amy Adams
- All I've ever ended up with in terms of achievements is the movie, some really stupid anecdotes, a bunch of crosswords that… — Christian Bale
- I will never do another TV series. It couldn't top I Love Lucy, and I'd be foolish to try. In this business,… — Lucille Ball
- My children - in many dimensions they're as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I've got… — Steve Ballmer
- One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork. — Edward Abbey
- Nobody loves a woman because she is handsome or ugly, stupid or intelligent. We love because we love. — Honore de Balzac
- Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society. — Honore de Balzac