« All Some Quotes · Mitch Hedberg's Page
Some Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey…
- Then let's print up some flyers!
- I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take…
- Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that…
- I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you…
- I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.
- My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he…
- I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
- I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money…
- I saw some two-dollar bills today - They were for sale for eight dollars. Something went severely wrong there. What happened? It spun out of…
- I mumble a lot off-stage, I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend and I say something, he won't hear me, he'll say 'What?'.…
More Some Quotes
- I'm hoping someday that some kid, black or white, will hit more home runs than myself. Whoever it is, I'd be pulling… — Hank Aaron
- Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve some bold adventure, worthy of our trip. — Aristophanes
- If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when… — Aristotle
- To run away from trouble is a form of cowardice and, while it is true that the suicide braves death, he does… — Aristotle
- Every art and every inquiry, and similarly every action and choice, is thought to aim at some good; and for this reason… — Aristotle
- We have some material on spying by a major government on the tech industry. Industrial espionage. — Julian Assange
- I guess I wanted to leave America for awhile. It wasn't that I wanted to become an expatriate, or just never come… — Paul Auster
- Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives. — Richard Bach