"I drank some boiling water because I wanted…" — Mitch Hedberg
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Boiling Quotes
This quote is filed under Boiling Quotes,
one of 115 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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In general I was a good kid. It usually took a lot to make me mad. But once I reached…
— Benjamin Carson
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Instead of boiling up individuals into the species, I would draw a chalk circle round every individuality, and preach to…
— Jane Welsh Carlyle
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The smell of coffee cooking was a reason for growing up, because children were never allowed to have it and…
— Edna Lewis
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The coffee was boiling over a charcoal fire, and large slices of bread and butter were piled one upon the…
— Charles Dickens
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I think egg boiling is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I can make a tiramisu anytime you want.
— Catherine Zeta-Jones
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This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold…
— Rumi
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One evening, when I was yet in my nurse's arms, I wanted to touch the tea urn, which was boiling…
— John Ruskin
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Running gives me a clearer perspective on the world ... I've always seen the world by running, and that has…
— Grete Waitz
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Karate is like boiling water: without heat, it returns to it's tepid state
— Gichin Funakoshi
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That devilish Iron Horse, whose ear-rending neigh is heard throughout the town, has muddied the Boiling Spring with his foot,…
— Henry David Thoreau
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I had a creative hot streak in the 1940s and since then I’ve been pot boiling.
— Stephen Shore
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What people don't realize is that the so-called Seattle grunge scene grew out of several close-knit gourmet supper clubs -…
— Kurt Cobain
See all 115 Boiling Quotes »