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Laughing Quotes by Jack Handey
- I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
- I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the…
- Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group…
- If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That was if some…
- Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if…
- If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and let your hostages laugh too, because come on…
- One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the…
- Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have…
- It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny…
- Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that…
- People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is,…
- Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the…
- I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I…
- It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
- Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.
- I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.
- Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
- If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
- If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking…
More Laughing Quotes
- When things are really dismal, you can laugh, or you can cave in completely. — Margaret Atwood
- Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs. — Sri Aurobindo
- For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn? — Jane Austen
- One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty. — Jane Austen
- My whole thing is to entertain, make people laugh and to forget about the real world for awhile. — Dan Aykroyd
- We neither laugh alone, nor weep alone, why then should we pray alone? — Anna Letitia Barbauld
- I don't know anyone who enjoys going to the hospital. To help remedy this, I got an idea to create what a… — Joseph Barbera
- When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative. — Francis Bacon
- I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their… — Roseanne Barr
- I want to feel passion, I want to feel pain. I want to weep at the sound of your name. Come make… — Joey Lauren Adams
- You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself. — Ethel Barrymore