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Humorous Quotes by W.C. Fields
- If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names…
- I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.
- Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
- What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which…
- I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
- The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
- I like children - fried.
More Humorous Quotes
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer… — Arthur Conan Doyle
- A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname… — Stephen Fry
- I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey… — Arthur Conan Doyle
- Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were… — Arthur Conan Doyle
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov