Funny Facebook Status Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. — Joey Adams
- You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
- Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett
- Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. — Josh Billings
- All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. — Erma Bombeck
- Who so loves believes the impossible. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. — George Burns
- A man is known by the company his mind keeps. — Thomas Bailey Aldrich
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark. — George Carlin
- Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? — George Carlin
- Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. — Truman Capote
- Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. — George Carlin
- You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. — George Carlin
- You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. — George Carlin
- Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. — Dan Castellaneta
- Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls... because they can. — Kim Cattrall
- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. — Fred Allen