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Funny Facebook Status Quotes by Hussein Nishah
- I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them
- One day I might just change all of my passwords to 'Women' since nobody can seem to figure them out
- I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday
- I am sure I have a defective iphone, I keep pressing the home button and Im still at work
- I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something
- Girls work on their looks but not their minds bcoz they know boys are stupid, not blind
- Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me
- Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.
- I dont usually sleep enough, but when I do, its still not enough
- My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it
- Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up
- I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying
- No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas
- My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future
- Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us
- Instead of finding the right man, concentrate on becoming a right woman
- The difference between being anonymous and being fake is similar to between hiding the truth and telling a lie
- Some people come into your life to make you fall in love with songs you had no idea existed
- I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing
- I am not lazy I am on battery saving mode
- Im the person that the more you complain about me, the harder Ill try to annoy you
- Sometimes the only one who can appreciate you, is you
- Im not getting older, Im just becoming a classic
- I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT
- When youre good, youre good, when youre awesome youre me
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More Funny Facebook Status Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. — Joey Adams
- You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
- Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett
- Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. — Josh Billings
- All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is… — Erma Bombeck
- Who so loves believes the impossible. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. — George Burns
- A man is known by the company his mind keeps. — Thomas Bailey Aldrich
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark. — George Carlin