Best Funny Facebook Status Lines
2195 Funny Facebook Status quotes by 404 unique authors
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True love always makes a man better, no matter what woman inspires it.
— Alexandre Dumas
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Love can make you do things that you never thought possible
— Phil Collins
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
— George Carlin
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You can't ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.
— Tove Jansson
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Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.
— Audrey Hepburn
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A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest
— Winston Churchill
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I think a lot, but I don't say much.
— Anne Frank
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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
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There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
— Beverly Sills
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All generalizations are false, including this one.
— Mark Twain
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
— Emo Philips
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Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's…
— Eugene McCarthy
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All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often…
— Benjamin Franklin
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Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
— Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
— Walter Bagehot
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Love, and do what you like.
— Saint Augustine
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He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts.
— Richard Brinsley Sheridan
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Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
— Oscar Wilde
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One kiss breaches the distance between friendship and love
— Josh Hartnett
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Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth.
— Proverb
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In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person.
— Margaret Chase Smith
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Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
— Albert Einstein
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My night has become a sunny dawn because of you.
— Unknown Author
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Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
— John Callahan
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A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night, a true man romances the same girl for the rest of her…
— Unknown Author
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404 authors contributed a total of 2,195 Funny Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: