Best Funny Facebook Status Thoughts
2195 Funny Facebook Status quotes by 404 unique authors
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Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
— Unknown Author
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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.
— Jack Nicholson
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Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember
— Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
— Maryon Pearson
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Man loves little and often: Woman much and rarely
— Victor Hugo
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Its all fun and games, until someone calls the cops. Then its a new game; hide and seek.
— Orebela Gbenga
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I didnt fall. The floor just needed a hug.
— Orebela Gbenga
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I'm a ride or die bitch when it comes to Six Flags.
— Lisette Alfaro
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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the hell are you?
— Orebela Gbenga
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Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyones bathroom looks like!
— Orebela Gbenga
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We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
— Orebela Gbenga
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That Awkward moment when yur writting something and accidentally yew 4get the spelling so start act like yur in Babe class ABCDE.....
— Junior Dè Rèál Testament
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Childhood is like being drunk; everyone remembers what you did, except you.
— Orebela Gbenga
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You can never really say whats' on your mind, when your family is on Facebook.
— Nishan Panwar
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Laziness is the mother of all bad habits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.
— Abhishek Tiwari
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I wish I had powers so I could magically make a peperoni pizza appear in front of me along with Channing Tatum!
— Lisette Alfaro
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Inspirational tweet of the day: If you ever feel like you're about to do something you're going to regret later, do it.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Sometimes you have to do whats best for you and your life, not whats best for everybody else.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to let go even if it's the hardest thing to do.
— Nikhil Saluja
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
— Air Hostess
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Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
— Junior Dè Rèál Testament
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Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, Youll rock like SHAKIRA :)
— Junior Dè Rèál Testament
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If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat…
— Junior Dè Rèál Testament
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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer…
— Valdovinoz1015
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Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Me? I use coupons to get pizza...
— Nikhil Saluja
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Who Wrote These Funny Facebook Status Quotes
404 authors contributed a total of 2,195 Funny Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: