Best Funny Facebook Status Quotations

2195 Funny Facebook Status quotes by 404 unique authors

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? — Matt Groening
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. — Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. — Bill Cosby
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. — Rodney Dangerfield
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. — Alan Dundes
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. — Albert Einstein
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. — Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an… — Albert Einstein
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. — W.C. Fields
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. — Mitch Hedberg
Wonder rather than doubt is the root of all knowledge. — Abraham Joshua Heschel
Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it… — Elbert Hubbard
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise. — Samuel Johnson
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. — Michael Jordan
A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away. — Bil Keane
God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers. — Rudyard Kipling
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. — Hedy Lamarr
Our visions begin with our desires. — Audre Lorde
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. — Margaret Mead
Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. — Karl A. Menninger
The truest expression of a people is in its dances and its music. Bodies never lie. — Agnes de Mille
Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. — Toni Morrison
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love. — Anais Nin
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. — P.J. O'Rourke
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. — Robert Orben

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