Funny Facebook Status Thoughts Collection
2195 Funny Facebook Status quotes by 404 unique authors
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In the Beginning, God made the Heaven and Earth. The rest was Made in China
— Punkinhead Abhishek
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Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
— Punkinhead Abhishek
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Dance like the photos not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And do it all…
— Raymond Estrada
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I have been talking to a couple of people today; Me, myself and I... They are all great.
— Punkinhead Abhishek
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Ladies, men will listen to all your problems if you learned how to say thank you with a blowjob.
— Ephrem Hardin
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Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you
— Nate
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Exams are close, so I will flip a coin; if heads will go on Facebook and if tails will go on Search Quotes, and if…
— Punkinhead Abhishek
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If you miss someone just tag their names to remember you! :D
— Mc Vinzed
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If u need a friend, message me, need a laugh, call me, need a hug, stop by my house, need money, this number is no…
— Punkinhead Abhishek
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Im so addicted to facebook I can log-in with my eyes close.
— Asheya
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I'm ashamed of what I've done for a Klondike bar....
— Jacqueline Roach
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These niggas more insecure than the women, naw I dont want yo lady homie and stop letting her gas you up like everybody else want…
— Unknown Author
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I hate when a people ask u money and they already own you money
— IG:catone_2_funny
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I dont like a female that WANT attention...bitch try N WANT some money
— IG:catone_2_funny
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Everything is funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
— Punkinhead Abhishek
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That annoying moment when you just want to listen to music but someone wants to constantly speak to you, making you pause your song
— Emanuel Sebastiao
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Girl:How Much Do you Love me? Boy: My heart is a mobile and u r its SIM. Girl:Ooh God... I m Soo Lucky.. . .…
— DEV
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
— Jenny_pajaron
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
— Jenny_pajaron
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When hungry, I'm a completely different person compared to when I'm full...You better pray to baby Jesus I'm full when you piss me off...
— Lisette Alfaro
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Who Wrote These Funny Facebook Status Quotes
404 authors contributed a total of 2,195 Funny Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: