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Mitch Hedberg's Page
Beret Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
1 Beret quote by Mitch Hedberg
More Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 172 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how to show…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and around. I…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a non-alcoholic.
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk.…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
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More Beret Quotes
Popular Beret quotes from across the collection:
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'The green beret' is again becoming a symbol of excellence, a badge of courage, a mark of distinction in the fight for…
— John F. Kennedy
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It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress.
— Monica Lewinsky
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Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna,…
— Mitch Hedberg
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I've found that if you wear a beret, people think you're either a cabdriver or a producer of dirty movies.
— Ernie Harwell
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Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.
— Craig Kilborn
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Rambo was a Green Beret," Hannah said. "Please. We eat those army boys for breakfast.
— Rachel Caine
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The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a…
— Fred Allen
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You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses, and he wears a…
— Conan O'Brien
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When I was 15, I was wearing sandals and corduroys, Guernsey, striped pullover, a beard that was hardly there, shades and a…
— Roy Harper
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And the sculptor woman was so clever in the way she did it. She had the beret just about to leave my…
— Mary Tyler Moore
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