All Jay Leno Quotes
- Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America. America
- President Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony Weiner said, “It’s… Announced
- President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden. Biden
- President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at the end of… Actually Better
- The White House says that the unemployment rate is good news because it means more people are looking for jobs. More good news like that,… Everyone
- President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States. Accusing
- Congratulation s to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to actually move to… Actually Move
- The price of oil is rising because of all the unrest in the Middle East. And the unrest in Wisconsin is causing the price of… All
- It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House. Economy
- President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his? Economic
- President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have… Announced
- Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. What's next, a health care plan? Amount
- President Obama is currently on a week-long trip to Africa, where he will promote freedom, democracy, and economic opportunity. I guess he figured it hasn't… Africa
- The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th.… Anyone
- Yesterday President Obama said, 'We can't continue to treat tax money like monopoly money.' Oh really - how come all those guys on Wall Street… All
- President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation. Begun
- Thanksgiving began in 1621 when Native Americans sat down with a bunch of undocumented pilgrims. They had dinner and the pilgrims never left. Americans
- You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats Call
- President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know why? When you're… Any
- Well, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is back - not for gays in the military. It's President Obama's new policy for questions about Libya. Don't ask,… Ask
- Chris Christie won by such a wide margin that pundits say this will give him the impetus he needs to run for president. And he's… Chris
- Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents if you count… All
- President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money. China
- We're heading for a gov. shutdown. This is serious. W/o the gov who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our… Airplane
- President Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in over six months.… All