All Jay Leno Quotes
- If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd be a big star. Big
- A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for… Canadian
- According to a recent study, ten percent of 'Star Trek' fans meet the psychological criteria for addiction. Deprived of their favourite show, some Trekkies disply… According
- According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider… According
- Here is a very inexpensive costume idea. Wear a re-elect Obama button and go out as a journalist. Button
- When Clinton said he was going to create 8 million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors. All
- I'm trying to sum up President Obama's first 11 months in office. He gave billions to Wall Street, cracked down on illegal immigrants getting health… Afghanistan
- In a groundbreaking move, the Associated Press, the largest news-gathering organization in the World, will no longer use the term 'illegal immigrant'. They will now… Associated
- I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out… All
- A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he… Adviser
- According to government auditors, the stimulus money is being held up because there aren't enough government workers to oversee the spending. So follow me, in… According
- Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare. Decision
- A top geneticist at Stanford says human intelligence is declining. You know what that means? We are seeing Congress at its smartest and most effective… Congress
- Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when… April
- We live in what's called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open our medical records. Called
- President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed. Always Stand
- Romney raised $10 million. That’s a dollar for every position he’s had on healthcare. Dollar
- Saddam Hussein is dead, and Osama bin Laden is dead. If you’re Moammar Gadhafi, living in exile is starting to sound really good. Bin
- The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That’s a long trip for Joe Biden. Biden
- Ex-convicts prepared the eggs for the White House’s Easter Egg Roll. It’s nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress. Congress
- Another air traffic controller fell asleep on the job, but he had a good excuse. He was watching President Obama’s deficit speech. Air
- Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking,… Admitted
- Here's an interesting figure: 43 percent of the incoming congressional freshmen are millionaires. The other 57 percent are Democrats. Congressional
- President Obama admitted this week that a former girlfriend that he wrote about in his autobiography was made up and not a real person .… Admitted
- Rick Santorum is so conservative; he thinks KY Jelly is jam made in Kentucky. Conservative