Lying about my age is easier now that I sometimes forget what it is. — Green Monk Age Copy Share Image
To those who know and love me I wish you well. All the rest may go to hell — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I went to an emotional wedding last week. Even the cake was in tiers! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you see someone coming your way after you've just farted. — Green Monk Awkward Copy Share Image
Some, given the scepter of responsibility, confuse it with the club of authority. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Nah, we're cool! Just make sure you remind me how awesome I am 3 times a day. — Green Monk Cool Copy Share Image
I bet in Africa they play commercials of American stripper girls starving for their father's attention. — Green Monk Africa Copy Share Image
Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk! — Green Monk Drunk Copy Share Image
Number one rule: Never get attached to something that wasn't yours in the first place. — Green Monk Attached Copy Share Image
My personal trainer told me to listen to my body while working out so I left the gym & went to get… — Green Monk Exercise Copy Share Image
Looking for soulmate. Description: Smart, funny, good-looking & loves to battle with lightsaber swords while making sound effects. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Birthday Copy Share Image
You can steal my tweets if you like, but I lick every single one before I tweet them. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Dear ugly people, if you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The only possible way I would find you attractive is if you swallowed a magnet. — Green Monk Attractive Copy Share Image
There've been so many awkward moments, nothing is awkward anymore — Green Monk Awkward Copy Share Image
Real men know how to communicate. They know when to talk & when to listen. — Green Monk Communication Copy Share Image
That mysterious toothbrush in the bathroom that nobody in your family uses.. — Green Monk Bathroom Copy Share Image
I hate when someone gets lost in my eyes & they forget what they're telling me. — Green Monk Forget Copy Share Image
I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow older -- younger! — Green Monk Figured Copy Share Image
I saw a sign today that almost made me piss myself. It said Bathrooms closed. — Green Monk Closed Copy Share Image
LADIES: You should never beg for a guys commitment to you . If he wants you, he'll do whatever it takes to… — Green Monk Commitment Copy Share Image
