Real men don't date the most beautiful girl in the world,they date the girl who makes their world the most beautiful. — Green Monk A real man Copy Share Image
What a mess! I can't believe I mixed up my Valentine cards. Now my girlfriend thinks I love her AND my wife… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The hot dog was invented in 1903 by Jonathan Hotdog when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his… — Green Monk Computers Copy Share Image
Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? . . . Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
April Fools' is exhausting. I can't wait for tomorrow when I can return to blindly accepting everything I hear. — Green Monk April fool Copy Share Image
Just saw a homeless guy buy a cup of coffee, drink it, then use the cup to beg and make his money… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
A male inmate promised a female prison guard, If you help me escape, I'll marry you. This is an example of using… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Everyone makes mistakes but only ur girlfriends, wife & boss have the gifted talent of finding, remembering and reminding it to you.. — Green Monk Failure Copy Share Image
Sometimes when I look at you, I just can't help fantasizing about kicking you in the face repeatedly. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Women are like commercials... nothing more than false advertisement — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The word aerobics came about when the instructors said If we're going to charge money, we can't call it jumping up and… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
A woman in labor was screaming profanities at her husband. He calmly said, Dont blame me. I wanted to stick it in… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I make inappropriate choices when I drink. I also make them when I'm not drinking — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When a human being trips I laugh at them. When I drop my phone my heart skips a beat. That sums up… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Communication, trust, and affection, is the true foundation of every good relationship¦.. If one is missing¦.. LOVE cannot survive¦ — Green Monk Communication Copy Share Image
They should really replace, I now pronounce you man and wife with FINISH HIM!! (mortal combat music blasting) — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Dear alarm clock, It might be you they hit on, but it's me they're sleeping with. Sincerely, bed. — Green Monk Alarm clock Copy Share Image
Set Your Goals High Enough To Inspire You And Low Enough To Encourage You — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
