My hands never pain when typing message for you.. But my heart always pain when there is no reply from you. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
My girlfriend said she liked to be teased in the bedroom so, last night in bed I told her, Your new glasses… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Fact: The more rhinestones a girl has on her clothes, the easier it is for a guy to take them off. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
A news paper seems more intresting when . . . The person sitting next to you is reading it... — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I hate when people assume I'm crazy & delusional rather than brave when I'm out fighting crime in my Superman costume. — Green Monk Delusional Copy Share Image
Of course I look both ways when crossing a one way street. You never know what kind of idiot is behind the… — Green Monk Crossing Copy Share Image
Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval — Green Monk Computers Copy Share Image
Ladies, if you give men a choice between two things they'll pick the first. They stopped listening and didn't hear the second — Green Monk Choice Copy Share Image
Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? . . . Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop. — Green Monk Bothering Copy Share Image
I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case someone tries to break in and pitch a no-hitter! — Green Monk Baseball Copy Share Image
When I was 18 I met with a terrible accident. I was thrown out of a car window... by the boyfriend of… — Green Monk Accident Copy Share Image
Every woman deserves a man who respects her and every man deserves a woman who appreciates his efforts. — Green Monk Every man Copy Share Image
Dear alarm clock, It might be you they hit on, but it's me they're sleeping with. Sincerely, bed. — Green Monk Alarm Copy Share Image
My teacher said I had a self sabotaging personality when I showed up drunk for traffic school. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
No I dont drink alcohol. Why put something in my body that's so potent it can convince a girl to sleep with… — Green Monk Alcohol Copy Share Image
If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? . . . If my friends jumped off a cliff, it would be… — Green Monk Friendship Copy Share Image
It's called a joke. Just read it and laugh. Don't try to analyze it and take it literally. — Green Monk Comedy Copy Share Image
I didn't know I would hate you this much. I gotta go out with you on vacation again. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Parents, tell your kids they'll end up in hell if they become fat. Trust me, they will thank you when they grow… — Green Monk Inspiring Copy Share Image
Every 6 seconds somewhere a woman is sexually unfulfilled. Every 5 seconds somewhere a man knows it too. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When you're given a second chance, it's because God thought it was funny when you screwed up the first time and He… — Green Monk Chance Copy Share Image
Love is a complicated peice of machinery. Sometimes all you need is a good hammershot to fix it. — Green Monk Complicated Copy Share Image
If I had a $1.00 for every time my dad called me a failure…I wouldn't be a failure anymore — Green Monk Dad Copy Share Image
If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
People don't come into your life by accident. Everyone that crosses your path serves a purpose — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, Suck what? — Green Monk Brides Copy Share Image
Behind every great woman is a man telling her she's ignoring him. Behind every great man is a puzzled woman. — Green Monk Behind every great man Copy Share Image
Life is like sex, you can either lie back and let it screw you OR you can get on top and ride… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The adult in me wants Vodka, while the kid in me wants Orange Juice. It's a good thing they get along. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Valentine's Day is only three weeks away. So remember, it's not too late to break-up. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Just saw the weirdest thing. A businessman was walking & wasn't on the phone acting like his call will determine the fate… — Green Monk Businessman Copy Share Image
I understand the weight of love. As soon as you fall in love she continually starts to get heavier — Green Monk Fall in love Copy Share Image
It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created you, beat out 1,000,000 others. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I must have been really pissed when I drove home last night. We don't own a tractor. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
A real man doesn't need a whole lot of women to make him feel like a king, only ONE! The ONE! — Green Monk Feel Copy Share Image
Ladies ! Don't be comfortable being anyone's secret . A real man will be more than honored to call you his lady . ¥ — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Friendship is rainbow between 2 hearts. Sharing 7 colors: love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secret, & respect. — Green Monk Faith Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I always imagined myself waking up to & sleeping to a social networking website. Dreams do come true. — Green Monk Dreams Copy Share Image
You've got to give it to people who wear crocs. Their dedication to dying alone is amazing. — Green Monk Dying alone Copy Share Image
