They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The nation of Iran is threatening to sue the makers of the movie Argo. They say the movie was an unrealistic portrayal… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Valentine's Day is celebrated a little differently here in L.A. Nobody eats chocolate because of the calories, so people give each other… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Pies were invented 12,000 years ago by the Egyptians. It was an easy way to preserve food that would be carried over… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
