I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There is still the outside world to contend with. A world of backfiring cars, and their human equivalents. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
A history of listening to Top 40 radio had left me with a ridiculous and clichéd notion of love. I had never… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconveniences: polio, say, or the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Living in a foreign country is one of those things that everyone should try at least once. My understanding was that it… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a visual artist, but I realized I was more affected by what I read than by what I… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
