All patriarchal societies are either preparing for war, at war, or recovering from war. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The bloodiest, most brutal wars fought, all based on religious hatred. Which is fine with me! Any time a bunch of holy… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Fuck the drug war. Dropping acid was a profound turning point for me, a seminal experience. I make no apologies for it.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Females create life, males end it. War, crime, violence, are primarily male franchises. Man shit. It’s nature’s supreme joke. Deep in the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you'd really notice it of course; just… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Something is wrong. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, crime, torture, corruption and the ice capades. If this is the best… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
