Tweets Quotes by Nikhil Saluja

I delete tweets If I spell a word wrong, FUCK YOU if you saw it.

— Nikhil Saluja

People with more than 50,000 tweets should officially be declared as Senior Citizens of Twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

Judging by the tweets, you guys all lead really interesting lies

— Nikhil Saluja

You know those tweets that make you think I wish I thought of that? Retweet those.

— Nikhil Saluja

Cloning seems like a good idea. I'd have much more time to come up with funny tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate it when my wife asks me how my day was, because it's like, doesn't she read my tweets?

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I'm feeling happy, I log on twitter and read your inspirational tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you post too much inspirational tweets, I'm reporting you for inappropriate activity.

— Nikhil Saluja

Yest I climbed up a tree & read out a bird some of my tweets. She looked at me, shook her head…

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I'm feeling down, I come on twitter and read some of your (stolen & reworded) inspirational tweets. Thank you for being there!

— Nikhil Saluja

My boss fired me from job today. Unfortunately I need you to impress our clients never means making jokes about them on…

— Nikhil Saluja

If my tweets offend you: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You're a pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

I follow back everybody for a trial period of 2 weeks. If all your tweets are crappy during that period. I probably…

— Nikhil Saluja

Some of you unfollowed me for being childish and now my tweets will be RTed on your timeline. HAHAHAHAHA!! *sticks tongue out*

— Nikhil Saluja

I star you, you star me, we're a happy family! -This is what I'm usually singing while starring your tweets, guys.

— Nikhil Saluja

This girl keeps starring my tweets and I keep starring her tweets but we never follow each other, are we married now?

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I get the feeling that you guys aren't thinking about my tweets all the time.

— Nikhil Saluja

My tweets are my moods, they're not up for a fucking debate.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't delete tweets that don't get retweeted. I hug them and tell them they're just as special.

— Nikhil Saluja

I often wonder how my tweets are going to sound when read aloud at my future divorce hearing.

— Nikhil Saluja

The more she likes you, the less she likes your tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always wonder if doctors could read their own tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

For those who were offended by my tweets; fuck you.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'd have more funnier tweets if I was surrounded with more idiots.

— Nikhil Saluja

________ is now single. oh hell, here comes the Sex Bashing Tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

From the Number of tweets & conversations some of you tweet, it seems you never shut up in person. This isn't judging ok!

— Nikhil Saluja

When do these twitter girls will realize that boys are usually following them or retweeting them for sexting & not for their tweets?

— Nikhil Saluja

The follower counts should be hidden so we can be fair and judge people only by the quality of their tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

If any of my tweets offend you, let me know so I can block you.

— Nikhil Saluja

I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist.

— Nikhil Saluja