“Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it would be fair and right to use some of my land and wealth for a drug-rehab center or an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I had run away from home three times. I had been kicked out of three different schools under different circumstances. I was… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I went to my old school, where all the kids I'd been with for eight years were about to graduate. But the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When I was in seventh grade, I was caught stealing money from the visiting team's locker room during a basketball game. So… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I literally didn't know my father. My mother had been a secretary, and after she and my father split, she went back… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The fact that I didn't finish school left me with a lifelong need to prove that I'm smart, prove it to myself,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The patterns became even more vivid at Cardinal Hayes High School. That's when I began failing subjects and running away from home… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I often wonder how different the world would be if Hitler had not been turned down when he applied to art school. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The things they don't tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image