Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, 'I thought my English was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We live in what's called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Olympics start on Friday, and Russia is implementing the most intensive security in Olympics history. During the games, the government will… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A student at the University of Wisconsin in Madison spent 90 days technology free. He went without a cell phone, Facebook, Twitter,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
At the G-20 summit, the White House accidentally listed a phone-sex line for journalists seeking an on-record briefing call for Secretary of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Apparently, Osama bin Laden was killed with money and phone numbers sewn into his clothing. So we got him right before he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you all know by now, Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to The Washington Post, the NSA has been monitoring phone calls and emails of people in Mexico. So apparently it's not… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
