Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There are a number of people without whom I could not have written this book, but I hope you don't hold that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Editorials are written by people who have agreed to have several strong opinions a day and to write them down, provided they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I got a lot of mail from organizations concerned with bike safety. Then I got a couple from people who wanted my… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting, or 'fat recycling,' wherein fat cells are removed from one part of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I've been checking with people back in South Florida to see if Hurricane Dennis is going to whack my house, and the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Technology is constantly improving our lives. Look at the cellular telephone. Just ten years ago, virtually nobody was able to get into… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
At the time, we were mad at Moammar Gadhafi, which resulted in us bombing all over Libya and killing a bunch of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
But that's kind of an easy stance to be if you're a humor columnist, because you're tending to make fun of the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs- bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We are talking about mutated women, the result of cruel genetic experiments performed by fashion designers so lacking in any sense of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The thing I have learned, especially in the Internet age, probably the easiest thing in the world is to declare that something… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't get me wrong. I like Disney World. The rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery, and the employees say things like… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It was you readers who really came through, proving once again that when the American people decide to "get involved" in a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The best way to understand this whole issue is to look at what the government does: it takes money from some people,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People don't like it when you make fun of a celebrity. When you make fun of a celebrity, you'll hear from really… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I think if you use Twitter and social media as your main source of information you are an idiot, but I think… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called "LinkedIn." — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay…” quote by Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c7c/dave-barry-222_bills_this-was-years-ago-i-think-during-the-ea_1154458.jpg)
