Night Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I have a twelve year old sex doll. Brand new.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Perhaps I'm being too optimistic, but I think this country is finally ready for a black serial killer.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.

— Anthony Jeselnik

About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show.…

— Anthony Jeselnik

When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I was a weird kid because I liked to be alone, but I craved attention. It was important for me to be cool, but…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I love anyone who surprises me and makes me laugh.

— Anthony Jeselnik