Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin'… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Someone once said, if you scratch a cynic, and you'll find a disappointed idealist. That really rang a bell with me -… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
That's really a part of my nature , it goes along with autonomy and independence of action - it's just that I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The only good thing about religion is the music. Because nature is filled with balances and opposites, there are always exceptions to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I look at it this way... For centuries now, man has done everything he can to destroy, defile, and interfere with nature:… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
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