There are plans for a new high-speed train between Los Angeles and San Francisco. It will make the trip time 30 minutes.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Well, everyone, welcome to Shark Week. Oh that's on CBS and there's been a lot of cutbacks, so it's just Friday night… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you're not… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
