Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Women are also property in our bible; adultery is a property crime in the Old Testament, not a sex crime.” — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I always compare marriage to communism. They're both institutions that don't conform to human nature, so you're going to end up with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I ... would guess maybe about one or two out of five men is suited for marriage and probably four out of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Let's be honest, half the marriages end in divorce. For me, it's never made much sense. I have a girlfriend and I'm… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's so childish, "greatest country in the world." It's like saying, "I have the greatest wife in the world. Not just the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Gay marriage is spreading around the country, first Massachusetts, then San Francisco and now the small town of New Paltz, New York.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
F. Scott Fitzgerald has an indespensible quote: 'The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The person who sat in my seat on the flight before me and could not finish the People magazine crossword… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I hear from people that religion doesn't hurt anything, I say really? Well besides wars, the crusades, the inquisitions, 9-11, ethnic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
