Why do we shave? It doesn't seem like a natural activity. There are no examples of shaving in nature. The only creature… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You've read newspaper stories about elderly widows who die and leave their entire estates to their pet cats, right? Well, your cat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Genes are little items that are found in every living thing except Sen. Alfonse D'Amato. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
No man had ever knocked little Richard down. But of course Ammm was not a man. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
But from the perspective of the aging parent, there is no major difference between four and fifteen, except that when your child… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Turbulence.” This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in midair. You'll be flying along,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The average tax payer is not a big voluntary supporter of the arts. The only art that the average taxpayer buys voluntarily… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
When I say "dogs", I'm talking about dogs, which are large, bounding, salivating animals, usually with bad breath. I am not talking… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Computers operate on simple principles that can be easily understood by anybody with some common sense, a little imagination, and an IQ… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
