As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Comedy exists to laugh at things that aren't laughable. But isn't it? That's what separates us from the animals. We laugh. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker? — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Life is so tough. I don't know how old you are, but I've seen so much in a wink. One phone call… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Life is very tough, you know. You sit at a dinner party and talk to the person on your right or your… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
