Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I've always hate child stars, starting from way back when, when I was a child. The first child star I saw was… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love gay and lesbian parents. But I think we need a law that says lesbians and gay men have to raise… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
What could be nicer than to have three horrible children behind you in an airplane, and the next set, you go onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Having my daughter, I screamed for twenty-three hours straight. And that was just during conception. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My daughter refuses to call me mother in public; my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
