“Cupid, that chubby cherub love dispenser, is dead. But before he died, he appointed me his apprentice in love. I loved Cupid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the brakes, rolled down… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m not a murderer, though I have killed off billions of alternate me’s. They don’t exist because of me and my actions.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of the torture process.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He was born after me, and he died before me. I gave him life, and I killed him. He was an idea,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t want to see a group of people get killed. Particularly if those people are all my clones.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
