If you have only a little capital and are young today, there are fewer opportunities than when I was young. Back then,… — Charlie Munger Copy Share Image
“Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Because it stays up, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights… — Emily Giffin Copy Share Image
Even if you know a character really well, there's no formula for what jokes will work and what won't. — Seth MacFarlane Copy Share Image
As though all the world were a bad joke and she was the only one around who knew the punchline. — Jack Ketchum Copy Share Image
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
If the movie is terrible you can have fun. You can joke about it and have a ball. The movie is already… — Christopher Plummer Copy Share Image
When I do comedy, my brain sort of locks up in the infinite possibilities. That's where I get sort of lost. I… — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
I'm a goof. I talk too much. I tell stories. I tell cheesy Dad jokes. I'm theatrical and I'll mix things up… — William Beckett Copy Share Image
Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
Canadians always make jokes about the arrogant American, but the longer I'm here, the more I realize, "Oh, it isn't that they're… — Kelly Oxford Copy Share Image
The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to… — Superman Copy Share Image
I wanted to change the world . But I could not even change my underwear. — John Grant Copy Share Image
There is a fact-based belief system available to you if you want to believe in facts. But this is the weirdest time.… — John Flansburgh Copy Share Image
I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens. — Rip Taylor Copy Share Image
Donald Trump was very receptive. Funny. Cracked some jokes. And understand it very well. And said he was in that he would… — Jim Brown Copy Share Image
I like working in television because it's an evolving story that you tell. That's also one of the things I don't like… — Judy Greer Copy Share Image
No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Roses are red violets are blue if your parents said that you are beautiful they're lying you. — Gothsynster Copy Share Image
That's the Irish all over -- they treat a joke as a serious thing and a serious thing as a joke. — Sean O'Casey Copy Share Image
I love humor in writing, so I've written to the thing that's funny, there's the joke, but then I just kept going.… — Jess Walter Copy Share Image
We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes. — Walt Dohrn Copy Share Image
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
