The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When we cant laugh again on the same joke, then why do we cry again and again for the one and the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, I don't know. I prefer to think that when they're at home, the Silent Brothers are much like us. Playing practical… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
You hear a lot of jokes every once in a while about 'Silent Cal Coolidge.' The joke is on the people who… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Never get into fights with ugly people, cause no matter what u already won... — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think any decent comedy worth its salt has to have heart, otherwise it's just a bunch of jokes. I think people… — Tom Bennett Copy Share Image
I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I really get a little bit confused by all this "angry angry angry" talk when all I do is tell jokes and… — Aaron McGruder Copy Share Image
I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold. — Bernhard Langer Copy Share Image
I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me. — John Waters Copy Share Image
Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
The difference when I'm writing a story versus writing a joke is that writing a joke is so much more about the… — Paul F. Tompkins Copy Share Image
When two terms belong to the same category, it is proper to construct conjunctive propositions embodying them. Thus a purchaser may say… — Gilbert Ryle Copy Share Image
I'm definitely not gonna make a joke about separating the whites and colours, so don't try to make me. So instead, I'll… — Toby Turner Copy Share Image
I love belts. My husband always jokes with me, because he always calls me out on my belts, he's always like, "Just… — Olivia Palermo Copy Share Image
A man assumes that a woman's refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
Man at restaurant: Excuse me waiter,could you come here? WAITER: Is everything okay? MAN: Everything is fine,but would you please try my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've hated cockroaches my entire life.Tweeting jokes about it helps me cope, in a way. I'm not as jumpy killing cave crickets… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
