I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I have to visualise my jokes, live my jokes, feel the audience because every audience is different. It's like having a different… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I've reached a new level of closeness with a new friend when I can make a joke at their expense. That's one… — Kenneth Lonergan Copy Share Image
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie. — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
I would kill to be on 'Dexter,' and I would double kill to be on 'True Blood.' I would pay them to… — Callie Thorne Copy Share Image
I may not be your PEPSI choice of the new generation; I may not be your COKE, only the real thing; or… — Superman Copy Share Image
“Finally, my watchers had to fess up. In embarrassed and genuinely polite tones, they said they had no other choice but to… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In general, I think there are some things that require time before you can talk about them. Some stuff that happened over… — Negin Farsad Copy Share Image
As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing… — Mike Colter Copy Share Image
A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand… — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes. — Adrian Edmondson Copy Share Image
He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke. — Holly Black Copy Share Image
I don't see anyone avoiding the Stones because DJs make jokes about them being a part of the Geritol set. All it… — Joe Perry Copy Share Image
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I'm not aware of any… — Dick Cavett Copy Share Image
A prof was traveling by a boat. He asked the sailor, do you know biology? Physiology? Geology? Morphology? Zoology? Ecology? Or criminology?… — Horla Copy Share Image
Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and… — Mike Epps Copy Share Image
The more repression there is, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that repression. But too… — Paul Krassner Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I feel sorry for those who don't have a sense of humor, imagine the decades they're missing on out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
