Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere. — Judd Nelson Copy Share Image
Girl- How do I look? Boy- I would rather stay blind¦and let the mirror suffer!!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You make jokes because you're afraid to take anything seriously, because if you take things seriously, they matter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It was not easy to get to where I am. My challenge is to learn to deal with the jokes that are… — Maria das Gracas Silva Foster Copy Share Image
I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in… — Maya Rudolph Copy Share Image
I've made a lot of grown men cry with laughter, because I really am quite the joke. — Peta Wilson Copy Share Image
If Harriet Miers were not a crony of the president of the United States, her nomination to the Supreme Court would be… — Charles Krauthammer Copy Share Image
Then I could not help wondering what the watching gods thought of us, with our clever masks and our jokes. What we… — Gene Wolfe Copy Share Image
I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because… — Wallace Shawn Copy Share Image
As for pictures and museums, that don't trouble me. The worst of going abroad is that you've always got to look at… — Margaret Oliphant Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was drunk when I had my picture taken for my drivers license. That way, when the police pulls me over, I… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Awards shows have devolved into self-parodies - liberals in limos, corny insider jokes delivered by the hosts among bad teleprompter reading from… — John Ridley Copy Share Image
Even if its a white crowd, I tell my jokes for the four black people in the room, not the 100 whites. — Gary Owen Copy Share Image
The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't… — John Hurt Copy Share Image
Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be… — Margot Kidder Copy Share Image
The music director, Stephen Oremus, was telling me: "I hope you've done your work." We only have ten days rehearsal. The music… — Max von Essen Copy Share Image
