Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
NASCAR : The most exciting sport for people who have never seen a fucking freeway. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
And I admit it: there's a rather dirty thrill when 700 people laugh at a joke you've written. — Laura Wade Copy Share Image
Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen has been the Queensland premier the whole time we've been in Australia, and the state is a national joke… — Nick Earls Copy Share Image
I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A woman never knows what she really wants until she finds out what her husband cannot afford. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The deepest motivation for a lot of artists is obviously the one they all share: their great fear they are a fraud.… — Philip-Lorca diCorcia Copy Share Image
“Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
People get really scared when women reclaim words, talk about themselves honestly and also make jokes because it's a really unstoppable combination. — Caitlin Moran Copy Share Image
It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
Even if you get a joke right you've done it a thousand times and sometimes there's times where it just doesn't work… — Godfrey Copy Share Image
I was born in the West Village in New York, and then when I was about four my family moved to what… — Peter Vack Copy Share Image
My Lord told me a joke. And seeing Him laugh has done more for me than any scripture I will ever read. — Meister Eckhart Copy Share Image
Yeah, man. It's time to let de people get good herbs and smoke. Government's a joke. All dey wan' is ya smoke… — Bob Marley Copy Share Image
It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the… — Tao Lin Copy Share Image
That moment when you say something and everyone laughs, so you just sit there like a boss. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke. — Paulo Coelho Copy Share Image
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
My poems... the ones that start out as jokes become these big ponderous things and the ones that start out ponderous devolve… — Jess Walter Copy Share Image
