There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Each thing I do, I rush through so I can do something else. In such a way do the days pass---a blend… — Stephen Dobyns Copy Share Image
We realised that it was important to embrace this popcorn logic, that it works, that it's funnier when you fire 20 rounds… — Simon Pegg Copy Share Image
If nothing is delightful without love and jokes, then live in love and jokes. — Horace Copy Share Image
All I can tell you with certainty is that I, for one, have no self, and that I am unwilling or unable… — Philip Roth Copy Share Image
What I don't understand is these people who go on the street wearing riding clothes, and they have never been on a… — C. Z. Guest Copy Share Image
After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that… — Ned Beauman Copy Share Image
The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot. They know where you're going before you even start. That's a… — Betty White Copy Share Image
When someone new comes on and has their first nude scene - and even if it's not full nudity - it's always… — Deborah Ann Woll Copy Share Image
I think its natural if youre doing a lot of comedy to do a lot of drama, because you have to figure… — Judy Greer Copy Share Image
Such men as fortune raises from a mean estate to the highest elevation by way of a joke. — Juvenal Copy Share Image
In my early writing, all of my characters were exactly the same person. They all spoke the same, made the same types… — James Dashner Copy Share Image
Why do we need schools? Music: we have UTube. Spanish:there's Dora. English: everything's shortened anyway(lol,idk,gtg) Maths: that's why w have calculators. Geography:… — Simi Ngr Copy Share Image
If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh… — Ryan North Copy Share Image
I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I'll be honest with you, one of the things that frustrated me the most out the record leak thing, it had nothing… — Bradford Cox Copy Share Image
I took a lie dectector test today, actually I didnt really that was a lie. — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
I don't do Jewish stuff because I don't want people to be left out. If I mention the Torah in Alabama, it's… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Improvisation is about finding the best joke or the silliest way to get something across. Improvising conflict is always fun because you… — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Somebody would think I was trying to get favored treatment because my ancestors had the name Moon. And that's a joke. — Buzz Aldrin Copy Share Image
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when… — John Oliver Copy Share Image
