I have been asked many times, Why do you laugh so much and make so many jokes? I become serious sometimes-when I… — Swami Vivekananda Copy Share Image
People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
Laughter is something we have against oppression and oppressive people. Dictators hate people who laugh at them. It's easy for them to… — Burhan Sonmez Copy Share Image
The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
You know, OK, I made a few jokes - and they killed 3000 Americans. Fair trade. — Ann Coulter Copy Share Image
A lot of the times I'm looking at something that I discover is part of a larger framework and not just a… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
It would be a joke if the conduct of the victor had to be justified to the vanquished. — Napoleon Bonaparte Copy Share Image
There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
In his recent book, When Brute Force Fails, UCLA's Kleiman argues that new strategies for targeting repeat offenders--including reforms to make probation… — David Von Drehle Copy Share Image
I always joke with people that having nephews is the best birth control there is. — Tahj Mowry Copy Share Image
I often joke with my audiences that I make most of my income on a ski pole. People smile but they get… — Robin Sharma Copy Share Image
One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit. — Jean de la Bruyere Copy Share Image
There is an old joke about socialism as the synthesis of the highest achievements of the whole human history to date: from… — Slavoj Žižek Copy Share Image
A blonde just texted me and asked What does idk stand for? I said I dont know she said omg! nobody does!!...sorry… — Dionta Long Copy Share Image
What’s the deal with the hair?” Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. “Grows every flare. Can’t help it." We… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
The Awkward Moment When The Teacher Cracks A Joke In The Class And Nobody Laughs... — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I couldn't joke about the person who'd saved me from facing absolute heartbreak at home, who fed my family boxes of sweets,… — Kiera Cass Copy Share Image
She had something down there twice as big as mine. That's why I say you better watch where you stroke, cause it… — Gary B.B. Coleman Copy Share Image
I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar. — Sam Ewing Copy Share Image
I have a neighbor he is from China, he is a dwarf, I ask him what his name is? He said, Tai… — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
