I'm not a very serious Jew. I don't wear the protective religious headgear. They only wear that because 40% of all religious… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Reform Jews are the children of Conservative Jews, or as they are sometimes known, Christians with curlier hair. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square ... It's a lot quieter than the regular… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Orthodox Jews, or, as they are known in the Talmud, the Really Chosen Ones, are committed to the idea that the entire… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
