Now majority rule is a precious, sacred thing worth dying for. But like other precious, sacred things .... it's not only worth… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley! — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like the fact that they still run substantive pieces. I'm not sure I like the pieces, but it's nice that they… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A pleasant natural environment is a good - a luxury good, philosophical good, a moral goody-good, a good time for all. Whatever,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Human problems are complex. If something isn't complex it doesn't qualify as problematic. Very simple bad things are not worth troubling ourselves… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There'd be gum machines that dispensed… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Oh, God. The Sixties are coming back. Well I've got a 12-gauge double-barreled duck gun chambered for three-inch Magnum shells. And -… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. ... Government contains impure ingredients - as anybody who's looked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Australia is not very exclusive. On the visa application they still ask if you've been convicted of a felony - although they… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Health care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer - Hillary - in charge of making… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So what if I don't agree with the Democrats? What's to disagree with? They believe everything. And what they don't believe, the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Remember that all tax revenue is the result of holding a gun to somebody's head. Not paying taxes is against the law.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/346/p-j-o-rourke-184_amount_i-think-in-the-bill-clinton-era-if-peopl_1906545.jpg)
