I can't wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election- and for American… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
