“His relationship with illness was flirtatious; only a particularly attractive ailment could tempt him into bed.” — Sam Byers Copy Share Image
“Graham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace.… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
“Since I've moved here, you have shown up at my door eight times. I obey the laws, I pay my taxes, and… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
And realising that humour is the most powerful way to make a political statement and say the things that you want to… — Michael Moore Copy Share Image
“I focused, rather embarrassingly, on his chest which was rising and falling slowly. I left teeth marks!” — Kyra Lennon Copy Share Image
“You can't take a crash course in comedy, there is no crash course in comedy.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“I understand what motivates them. Greed is such a universal thing, especially when combined with laziness.” — Uvi Poznansky Copy Share Image
“We're all leaving now", Blue Eyes whispered to her. "Together. Out the front door. Scream, and we'll kill you here and now.… — Christopher Golden Copy Share Image
“I violently dislike you,' she said, and then she was gone, slamming the door and leaving a sort of shocked silence behind.” — Kate Johnson Copy Share Image
I'm a diplomat by nature. I help find the middle ground. I crack a joke and use humour to help resolve potentially… — Ronnie Wood Copy Share Image
“Luke opened the pizza box and, finding it empty, shut it with a sigh. "Though you did eat all the pizza." "I… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“You should never relax your hold.” Then he flipped me off his shoulder. I hit the mat with a loud grunt. “Aw,… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“This is just your penis having the feels for my vagina. Your penis is making prank calls! and every single time your… — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
“(But he could not bring himself to say he loved her; not in so many words.)” — Virginia Woolf Copy Share Image
“It is meant to be survival of the fittest, not survival of the most floral.” — Stephen Herfst Copy Share Image
“I swear to hold my tongue about it till the end of your worship's days, and God grant I may be able… — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
“I see a dude who looks like a meth addict across the street; I'm going to assume that's what this fiancée thief… — Cary Attwell Copy Share Image
“Tucker, please put him down," said Annie. "You're frightening Jackson." "He's not," said Jackson. "It's cool. I don't like that guy anyway.… — Nick Hornby Copy Share Image
“When statistics come in saying that only 29 percent of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42 percent… — Caitlin Moran Copy Share Image
“I watched Question Time on BBC1 last night and I've come to the conclusion this country needs more unemployed politicians.” — Kirkland Ciccone Copy Share Image
I walked about 55 kilometers and was awake for 25 hours. Now I have to think about setting a sleeping record. — Ehsan Ghaem-Maghami Copy Share Image
“When you exclude anything that is improbable, whatever is left, is not as hilarious.” — Oleg Medvedkov Copy Share Image
“And Honey, I just want you to know, even though I didn't see it coming, it makes absolutely no difference to your… — Patricia Gaffney Copy Share Image
“Do you think the Goblin King really did it?" asked Cordelia hesitantly. All the sheep knew she was talking about George's death.… — Leonie Swann Copy Share Image
“Mother,” Hyacinth said, pausing for slightly longer than normal to steal a bit of time to organize her thoughts, “I am not… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as… — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“Hap, even tough I'm a racist castrating bitch that wants you to be better than you are, wants you to do something… — Joe R. Lansdale Copy Share Image
“The most powerful women in Sachaka and all you do is waste time gossiping and matchmaking” — Trudi Canavan Copy Share Image
“He leaned in and kissed her cheek. Just the lightest touch of lips, but it took her breath away. "What was that… — Kathryn James Copy Share Image
“I don’t believe she’ll be available for the rest of the day,” Gabriel said. “No? Is she in Velora, perhaps? I could… — Sharon Shinn Copy Share Image
“[He]said something that made it impossible to continue working for him.[The exact words were]You're fired.” — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
“Gemma Davidson,” she answered, her voice as groggy as I felt. “Where are you?” I asked. “Who is this?” “Elvis.” “What time… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image