Humour Quote by Howard Tayler

““Technically, you don't pay me. And technically, most of what I do is "think." I...rrr. ummm. And when you get right down to it, I'm better at it than you are. -Ennesby & Captain Tagon””

Howard Tayler

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More by Howard Tayler

Only cheaters prosper.

Howard Tayler

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“Maxim 34: If you're leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

Howard Tayler

When the messenger arrives and says 'Don't shoot the messenger,' it's a good idea to be prepared to shoot the messenger, just in case.

Howard Tayler

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“New orders: Make sure everybody who doesn't want to live here is aboard in five minutes. We are leaving. -Captain Kevyn Andreyasn”

Howard Tayler

“Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

Howard Tayler

“Maxim 30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

Howard Tayler

“Maxim 24: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

Howard Tayler

“Maxim 27: Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

Howard Tayler

“Maxim 37: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload." -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

Howard Tayler

“Two minutes worth of signal analysis told me all I needed to know. This station "talks" to the dark matter universe about what goes…

Howard Tayler

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“We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Cross it? I'm making plans to destroy the bridge from orbit. -Colonel Ceeta & Captain Tagon”

Howard Tayler

The spirit of the law is the least of the things we're prepared to violate.

Howard Tayler

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“law that stated you didn't advertise any event you hadn't attended, any place you'd never been, or any band you didn't really listen to.”

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To refer even in passing to unpublished or struggling authors and their problems is to put oneself at some risk, so I will say…

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“Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster.”

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“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.”

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It goes to show you how we in the press so often miss the big stories that are right under our noses. There is a famous journalistic legend about the time a young reporter covered the Johnstown flood of 1889. The kid wrote: God sat on a hillside overlooking Johnstown today and looked at the destruction He had wrought. His…

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“What if," replied Inspector Fry in the same maddeningly curteous tone, "we were all to construct daisy chains and drape them so as to…

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You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.

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No woman ever yet either reasoned or acted long together consequentially; but some little thing, some love, some resentment, somepresent momentary interest, some supposed…

Lord Chesterfield

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“Holy shit," somebody muttered in the dark. "A virgin," sputtered another. "I didn't know they still made them." "He just did.”

Larry Kramer

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“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of…

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“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’ penis would be larger than your penis.”… ..."Fuck all of you,”…

David Wong