The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. — Orlando Aloysius Battista Copy Share Image
The first time I passed through the country (Switzerland) I had the impression it was swept down with a broom from one… — Ernesto Sabato Copy Share Image
I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks… — Jack Benny Copy Share Image
If for some reason you are unsure where to go, all you have to do is stand there looking lost, and within… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Anna gave her that disjointed look with which so many people regarded Hannah, as if they has fallen too many words behind… — Laura L. Sullivan Copy Share Image
“You need to relax and be yourself, not whoever it is you’re trying to be in your mad little head. I bloody… — Nick Harkaway Copy Share Image
Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“The first thing they would do would be to open my mouth and extract the soggy ball of my handkerchief, and as… — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
“Shergahn and friend lay like poleaxed steers, and the Daranfelian's greasy hair was thick with potatoes, carrots, gravy, and chunks of beef.… — David Weber Copy Share Image
Zeus Is Dead is full of laugh-out-loud moments, lashings of sly wit, moan-worthy puns, and a complex, fast-paced storyline. There aren't very… — Jody Lynn Nye Copy Share Image
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I’m Angel Crawford. Coroner’s Office.” I pointed to the logo on my work shirt. “I’m partnering with Dr. Charish in this medical… — Diana Rowland Copy Share Image
“I asked a nurse for dental floss and was told that I am not allowed dental floss. Apparently dental floss can be… — Emily Austin Copy Share Image
