It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
“The Pepto?” I asked. “The Pepto,” he sighed and read the label. “Yes, the Pepto. This, yes. The candies. They’re in here.… — Chase Webster Copy Share Image
“Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“I do believe in shooting the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message.” — L.J. Smith Copy Share Image
I have read that, on the average, the Japanese are getting taller, but at the moment they seem to be about the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“I can see into your heart. You have good intentions. You can’t go wrong when you start with good intentions.” — Linda Armstrong Copy Share Image
“Ruric clung to me and shouted, "Your father." Looking down below I saw my father running after us, several alarmed guards trailing… — Sunny Copy Share Image
“Yes, he's an equal opportunity asshole," Szilard said. "And he's aware of it, which he thinks means it's okay.” — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
The light, humorous touch works well for 'Columbo,' 'McMillan and Wife,' and 'McCloud.' — Mike Connors Copy Share Image
“I welcome reviews from all readers. I take criticism well; but please . . . no comments on my author face!” — C.C. Alma Copy Share Image
I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Chase had looked at the apartment—online—talked to the real estate agent—online—obtained references—online. Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he’d gotten… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
Japan is our rival, not our enemy. Japan is a competitor... Bashing a Toyota won't make a better car. — Ross Perot Copy Share Image
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If you're a fat person - and especially if you're a woman - at all stages of your life you'll get abuse… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
He has denied what has happened. His sworn statements have denied what has happened. — Patricia Schroeder Copy Share Image
A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember… — George Burns Copy Share Image
