Humorous Quote by Kresley Cole Download Open image ““Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman.”” — Kresley Cole ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.2 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Humorous Immortals-after-dark
“Yes, my enormous sexual appetite tends to scare men away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my dinner date.” — Stacia Kane Copy Share Image
“Hospitality is about welcoming you with open arms, and an outstretched erection. Please, have a seat on my penis. Can I get you something… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“No lunch dates, no date to the ball, no penis for you. And you don’t want miss out on my penis. It’s a good… — Samantha Young Copy Share Image
“Please, allow me a moment to put my penis back where it belongs. I should never have taken it out of its plastic wrapping… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Gentlemen are a dying breed. Do your part to help out by supporting them sexually.” — Alessandra Torre Copy Share Image
“When I say I want to possess a woman for a day, maybe a whole weekend, it’s like I’m inviting her to a dinner… — Cara McKenna Copy Share Image
“I need money. I suppose I could sell my penis for profit. Or better yet, rent it out so it gets returned to me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Some men eat dinner with silverware. Some use chopsticks. I prefer zippers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Running my hands up my waist, cupping my breasts, I taunted, “I’m not hungry for food, maître. Who needs dinner when I can suck… — Pepper Winters Copy Share Image
“She’s the kind of woman where if you give her an inch, she’ll take the whole penis. She took all I had, and she… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When drops from the canopy kissed her face, he drew his wings over his head, creating a shelter. “I’ve always room for you too.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“Nix to Regin: What about that nice leopard-shifter pack that wanted to date you? The benefits of a variety pack of males cannot be… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“A woman who likes her whisky,” he said while refilling her glass. “Careful that you doona steal my heart, Annalía.” “It figures that the… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“Call her Betty Fucking Crocker, because the cake was so going to be worth the bake.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“She gazed up at him. "Just don't forget our new motto, Leo. 'We can always murder them later, but we can't bring them back.'"… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“This was why we fought to survive. For love. Vincent had it all wrong. I’d had it wrong. Love wasn’t the most destructive force in the universe. Love is the universe. That is the point. Between breaths, Jack said, “So this is snow, huh?” He’d never seen it before. Excitement bubbled up, and I started laughing. I pressed the radio… — Kresley Cole Copy Share
“Too bad,Elizabeth. You're Stuck with me.Not for a few decades,not for centuries. You're tied to me forever. That boy and girl offspring you talked… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“He was staring at my lips, and before I could think better of it, I’d wetted them. “That’s it, bébé,” he said in a coaxing rasp. “Ma bonne fille.” My good girl. He wrapped one of his arms behind my back, cupping my chin with his free hand. “Evangeline, I’m goan to kiss you until your toes curl, until we’re… — Kresley Cole Copy Share
“Because of one unsuccessful beheading?” She tapped her claw to her chin. “Wow. I never thought you were such a pussy. I’m rethinking our… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“I suppose that now you'll want to sleep with me?Alas big guy I'm taken.' 'No. you're not,'Regin said. 'Am too,' Nix said. 'Mike Rowe,… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird sigh when you sat down on it. I'm not a germaphobe or anything like that, but it is weird to think about all the ass time this seat had seen before we moved in. This is… — Adam Carolla Copy Share
“Holy hell, Trev! What kind of move was that?” Trevor leaned over her with a big smile on his face. “You really thought I… — Cecilia Aubrey & Chris Almeida Copy Share Image
There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine. Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is The gain of the one at the top, For art is a form of catharsis, And love is a permanent flop, And work is the province of cattle,… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share
“Some women walk towards a better future. Others have chauffeurs.” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog, whichever was handy. If you stole a dog… — Mike Harding Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you.” — K.M. Parr Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Can you imagine life without the horror genre? There would be no monsters. Only a**holes.” — Michael A. Arnzen Copy Share Image
